nicole lee;
SC sec
14
bipolar
LOVES
my family and God
tvxq & super junior
[]TO MEET DBSK
[]TO MEET SUJU
[x]TVXQ `07 Calender
[x]SUJU `07 Calender
[x]TVXQ `07 Planner
[]2nd Asia Tour Kuala Lumpur Concert
[]Fanmeeting with DBSK
[]Better Results
YUMIE THE IDIOT
JACQUELINE
GOONG FAN-BLOG
CRESSEBELLA
ZI YING
ONE GRACE '06
CASSANDRA
layout design, coding, photo-editing,
by ice angel
Hi everyone.I couldn't post a lot was on a two week holiday.I...can't stand it anymore.Everyone expects me to be the mad,crazy girl who seems like she's just going to pop her head round the corner and laugh insanely.not anymore.I'm sick of being the center of everyone's jokes.Well yeah, There was a point when something happened,and I realised that there was no use in doing what others were doing.You know.Like putting on small skirts and prancing around,giggling,while with your friends or something,either shopping or watching a movie... I was enough of all that plastic crap.So I changed. I became sort of an outcast.I held to it.I didn't have to care about what others thought about me.But... recently I realised how awful it is.Not to be an outcast. But to those kind of girls,perfect in every way,to others.. but inside.they're broken.its the worst feeling you could possibly have on earth.I'm in no position to comment, having never been one of THEM before.But you can just imagine it,everyone laughing and giggling happily around you,while inside,you feel torn apart.Looking at their happy faces can just about make anyone snap. Which is close to the thing that happened to me.I wasn't popular...but there was a stage when I just couldn't take it anymore.Everyone seemed so damn happy...and so... I just felt worse.After reading some of my friend's blogs... I realised that sometimes,people just need to be alone. To lock themselves in their rooms,to throw everything around, to cry to themselves.Sometimes the best thing to do is just that. But some people just DON'T get it.They burst into your quiet sanctuary,probing you with questions even when you just don't even feel like speaking.And then there are those who insist on telling you to GET OVER IT.I hate it when people do that.It makes me feel even worse.For example...you fail a major exam.And people around you,who have obviously gotten better marks,judging by their behaviour,pat you on the back and tell you that its okay and that you'll do better next time...those are the words that make me feel awful.You can tell they don't mean it.They're oviously more caught up in screaming their happiness to their other friends instead of truly comforting you with honest words, instead of fake ones.They think that you'll feel better,they'll tell you to smile,get over it...but they just don't understand. They may have never even been in the same position before. Yeah,so they may tell you that,"Oh,don't worry.try harder next time. It's what I did before.And look,I'm doing better now."That is the worst of all.It makes you feel so degraded.Just because you've been in the same predicament...doesn't mean you feel the same way, You're not the same person.And it sucks when these kind of fake smiles and remarks pop out.The only thing to do,at that point, is to keep quiet,plaster on a fake smile,and excuse yourself... giving yourself time to run off into a secluded corner to just sob your heart out.Which is why,those who understand,the people who truly,understand you,they'll tell everyone to just go away,leave her alone.Those are the best friends you'll probably ever have,So I'd like to thank you all.But from now on. I'm not going to keep smiling and laughing everyday.I'm sick of living a lie.Speech is silver...while silence...is golden. |
the beauty exposed ;
oh well.the holidays have been..
interesting.so far.at least i think so.
oh.bite me.the holidays have sucked.
the hours have been slowly inching by.
that's nothing bloody worth doing.
i'm so friggin bored i am willing to do work!!
ugh.okay.so there's some consolation of
some sort on wednesdays and thursdays
now.singapore idol.but then again.its only
consolation for an hour.which means sixty
minutes.which equals to three thousand
and sixty seconds.it isn't that bad.i think.
at this point.i am pissed off.sorry about
my language.pay no heed.cause i am
pissed beyond words.and when people are
pissed beyond words...-ah,you know what
happens.anyway,i'm voting for paul.
and maybe jonathan.cause i like paul's
hair...yupp.did you know that *******is angry
at me just because i said something
slightly wrong?and i don't even know
what i said to make her mad.which makes
me mad,in turn.its one whole vicious cycle.
*******too.she's angry at me.think i have a
small clue of what i said that made them
"angry".i think they thought i said that
shawn lee and joshua ang looked nice.
i mean come on.they're okay.only okay.
don't you get the bloody idea?i was
talking about my friend the other day,dammit!
not those two!you guys know i don't like them.
not that much,anyway.not unlike you two.
the both of you have no bloody right to say that
you own them and all that crap.and to say that
i was "stealing" them-oh just f*** off,okay?
this is what the i was pissed off with.two
people who act so bloody bimbotic and say
that two teen stars "belong"to them and not to
steal them.for goodness sake.wake up and
smell the damn fresh air.
first of all:they don't bloody belong to you.
second:are you their mothers?!
third:you have no freaking right to control what I say.
you're not my mom.
fourth: what makes you think I was even talking about
them?!?
fifth:just get lost.i don't feel like even looking at your
puffed faces in school.
i think i've vented enough already.
my blog is probably gonna be filled with hate messages
from you two and from your class.
as if i care.
look.i have NICE friends in that class.i don't want to
criticise them.but you-have crossed the line.
this is final.let me tell you something.
everyone hates your class.
you laugh like stupid giggling...people when
male teachers come to make announcements.
for the love of-look.they're humans too.not aliens.
you guys have some problem with people.
no communication skills.
its like.revenge of the bimbos.
ok.you guys are stupid and bimbotic.to put it
nicely.i tried to use a euphism.no can do.
there's no word in the world that can describe
my pure hatred for your class right now.
i like...around seven people in your class.
roughly.but as for the rest.i can't seem the
find anything worthwhile to talk about.
cause you guys,to put it nicely,
suck.
and this,is my final comment.
the beauty exposed ;